In God’s infinite and amazing wisdom he created the family. He could have continued to create each human like he did Adam and Eve; speaking into them and forming them. Instead he chose to place men and women in a place not just of creating children, but also of parenting them. I often wonder if this process was such a good idea. Most of us mean well and we desire to be amazing, incredible, creative and encouraging parents. We dream of guiding our children (smoothly) into adulthood where we anticipate they will gaze back with admiration at the wonderful job we did raising them. We imagine a chorus of praise and plan to hear them say “well done” my wonderful mom and  dad,  you did a great job! We entertain the idea we will be fulfilled and find great serenity in our lives because

we were parents!

Perhaps no one else has had these grandiose thoughts but myself. You may not have said it aloud,  but like the elephant in the room you most likely have considered some of the same thoughts! Somewhere between 18 months and 18 years, these creatures we have been entrusted to parent,guide, teach and train do something parenting books do not adequately prepare you for.

Children grow  up.

Our precious offspring have their own ideas, thoughts and dreams. They seldom view the world, faith, and their future the way we desire and  they begin thinking for themselves. We see them making choices and decisions that we know deep inside will bring them pain and consequence. At times we still have influence in their lives, but mostly we do not.. While we “know” this is going to happen, we can not truly grasp how this will feel. Our hearts are so intertwined with these children,when the pulling away begins to occur we are not ready for what letting go means. Labor pains brought them physically into the world and intense labor pains are experienced at the deepest soul level as we release them into their future!

The Lord has been showing me that as I release my children to him, it allows him the opportunity to work at a greater level in their lives. He does not really need my help, he is God all by himself. Sometimes I think he does need my help. I perceive he is moving too slowly, or not at all.

He is.

He is “I Am.”

  He is moving.

When I do not see it and when I do not feel it.

When it is dark and I can not see.

He is.

Today I am leaning into his arms and begging him for the ability to find my peace in him, as I get out of the way and give him room to work. This is hard, but God is incredibly good, amazing and faithful to keep what I have committed to him.

I chose to wait for what I do not yet see.